Why on Earth would you want to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on a professional caterer, bartending service, DJ, florist, baker, wedding planner, or photographer when you have a friend or family member who “does weddings” offer to do it at little or no cost? Well, to put simply, you get what you pay for. Now before getting too far I’m going to start right off the bat and acknowledge that not everyone is going to agree with me on this post. But keep in mind I am speaking in generalities. My hope with this post is it just gets couples and families to pause and think before diving in to hiring all the family and friend “friendors” that come out of the woodwork after posting your new sparkly rock.

Now to really dive in! Again, why on Earth would you want to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on a professional caterer, bartending service, DJ, florist, baker, wedding planner, or photography when you have a friend or family member who “does weddings” offer to do it at little or no cost? Well, to put simply, you get what you pay for.
When you look back at your wedding a year from now, 5 years from now, 10 years, etc…what do you want to remember most? When I ask my couples and their families that, I mostly hear they want everything to go smoothly and efficiently and they want their family and friends to have a good time. How do we achieve those things? We hire professionals! Lauren, a writer for the blog Every Last Detail said it best, “If it was the successful norm to have your friend who has a nice camera take your wedding photos, cater your wedding, or do your flowers, there wouldn’t be professionals doing it!” Let’s look at a few reasons why:

1. Professionals are committed to doing everything in their power to make your day a success

Why? Because you signed a contract saying that! Anyone who knows me knows I am big on keeping things legal and looking for potential loopholes and protecting myself from them. Signing a contract with a pro means they are going to take care of you in the months, weeks, and days leading up to the big day, and they will show up and produce on the day of. How many couples planning would feel comfortable bugging your Aunt Suzy for a cake tasting when she so graciously offered to make your cake? Or asking Uncle Joe over and over to talk about the timeline of the day and what announcements he will need to make as your DJ? Many people feel like they can’t ask too much of friends or family because they are doing it as a favor…pros you have a contractual right to ask them these things and expect a response. Professionals depend on couples for their livelihoods and know a bad review could really hurt them. They are going to be more invested in making your day a success because they need good reviews and great client experiences to keep their business going.

2. Quality of work and equipment

Because professionals are invested in their business, they will make sure their equipment is in tiptop condition…and if something unforeseen happens (because the best laid plans and all…) they have a back-up plan! And most of the time if they are working off of plan B, the couple may not even know it because your pro didn’t even break a sweat while transitioning into the new plan. Friends and family can get “lost” at times because they are socializing and may miss an important moment they were supposed to capture. Pros have a knack for anticipating when the “moments” are going to happen and they get some pretty stunning shots because of their experience.

3. Building relationships vs. Putting a strain on them

Remember how we talked about contracts? Yeah so because you are working with a professional you have the opportunity to build a relationship with them that is unique from your friend/family relationships. What started as a business transaction leads to your pro getting to know you and becoming emotionally invested in making your day great. They understand panic and hundreds of questions happen! They understand that you questioning how they do something isn’t a personal attack on them, but a legit concern about what to expect. Family and friends, while offering with the best of intentions, can lose their desire to help as the wedding gets closer. They may start to resent you for your questions or feel like they won’t be able to enjoy the day with other friends and family because they are working. Don’t put your nearest and dearest in that position; let them enjoy the day with you rather than having them work for you.

Okay, so you’re on board now with why professionals are the way to go. So what do you do when well-intentioned family and friends want to help? Find a compromise somewhere. Maybe Aunt Suzy can make your dessert for the bridal shower. Maybe your friend starting out in the photography biz can take a few engagement or rehearsal dinner photos or you can have her take your “getting ready” in the morning pictures and save a few dollars with your professional by not tacking on those extra hours. Be gracious and let them know you appreciate their help but want them to genuinely enjoy the big day and not worry about working. With a little extra research and planning you’ll be able to find the right pros to work for you and plan a day where you will truly be able to celebrate with your family and friends alike!

Photo credits to Jennifer Mayo [www.jmstudios.com]