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Who to Ask: Bridesmaids

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There are a lot of imporant questions circling your mind now that you’ve said “Yes!”

What venue should my ceremony and/or reception be held?

Which caterer should I go with?

Which DJ will be most interactive?

Well, to assist you in your endeavors, we have found a great system to help you with another important decision: who should I ask to be my bridesmaids?

The most obvious question is how many attendants to ask and who should be your maid/matron of honor. A new trend in the wedding scene is an increase in bridal party members. While it is important that you include those people to whom you feel closest, the etiquette is to limit the party to 12. Also consider how many people can fit on either side of you while you’re standing at the altar. Ideally, the same number of attendants on both sides looks best, but there is no rule that says they have to match.

The easiest way to begin making your decsion is by writing your and your fiancé’s wish list of attendants. As a general rule, your sisters as well as your fiance’s sisters are included in your party. However, many brides find their decision is easier to make when they choose a method of grouping their bridemaids. Whether that means all sisters are included, all school friends, just one sister and one friend, etc., then this may help you narrow down the list.

If your list is still unwieldy, consider the following responsibilities to help you eliminate people or determine their roles.

The maid/matron of honor is generally the bride’s right-hand woman before and on the day of the wedding. Her main duties include planning the bridal shower and helping the bride select her gown and address invitations. The bridesmaids assist the maid/matron of honor and bride. All typically pay for their own dresses and travel expenses.

With this knowledge, consider is you are the type of person who surrounds herself with friends and needs a sounding board for every decision, or do you have only one or two close confidantes. Depending on your ceremony and reception needs, you may or may not need more help in your planning. Is this a gala affair with many details you’ll need help coordinating, or a small, no-fuss event? These are a few questions to think about before making a final decision on your go-to girls.

Finally, after considering all these things, factor in the lives of those you’re intending to ask. Ask yourself the following for each girl remaining on your list:

Does she live close by or in a reasonable distance so travel won’t clash with her responsibilities and my needs?

Is she financially set in order to support the requirements placed on a bridesmaid?

Is her life too swamped by other responsibilities (work, family, kids, etc.) that may make bridesmaid duties a burden?

All these circumstances impact a potential maid’s ability to do the best job possible. That said, even if someone can’t be there physically, she may still provide valuable moral support. So decide what’s most important to you, and then pop the question!


If, even after taking the advice mentioned above, you still cannot decide which girls would be the most suitable for your wedding entourage, here is a cheat-sheet brought to you by Wedding Party.


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